“She’s still on a bottle as her main source of nutrition?”
“Just give her a muffin.”
“My baby was eating pasta by 6 months.”
“Just feed her what you’re eating.”
Between doctors not always being on the same page about your child’s dysphagia, CMPA, reflux, or feeding challenges, and comments from other parents about what their child ate at the same age, it can take a toll on an already worried mother’s mind.
The truth is that babies with reflux, CMPA, laryngomalacia, dysphagia, feeding aversions, or other feeding difficulties often have their own timeline. Feeding milestones should never be rushed. When a child isn’t ready, pushing them beyond their comfort level can sometimes create even more fear and anxiety around food.
What does this look like?
If your baby knows gestures such as shaking their head “no” or signing “all done,” listen when they use them. They are communicating with you. If your baby isn’t opening their mouth for a spoon or moving toward a food, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are being difficult. Sometimes it simply means they aren’t ready yet—and that’s okay.
With a typical feeder, some parents may see these behaviors as signs of pickiness. But for babies with feeding challenges, we cannot always make that assumption. Sometimes, simply sitting in the high chair and touching a new food is a victory. Sometimes poking a strawberry with one finger is progress.
Why?
Because somewhere along the way, food may have become associated with discomfort. An unsafe swallow. Reflux pain. Choking episodes. A food intolerance. We often have to take very small steps to help our children learn that food can be enjoyable, safe, and exciting again.
Many people also don’t realize the extra work that comes with dysphagia. When a baby requires thickened liquids, it isn’t just every bottle that needs consideration. It can be the juice released when biting into a strawberry. It can be water offered in a cup. It can be medications, smoothies, or other liquids that need to be modified to the consistency recommended by your feeding team.
There is so much happening behind the scenes that most people never see.
So whether it’s a doctor acting surprised that your child is still relying on formula, another provider encouraging a step that doesn’t feel right yet, or another parent sharing everything their baby is eating, remember this:
You know your child.
There is no prize for rushing feeding milestones.
There is no shame in being on formula longer.
There is no reason to compare your child’s journey to someone else’s.
Your baby’s path has likely looked very different from that of a typical feeder. Continue listening to your child. Continue advocating for them. Continue meeting them where they are.
Progress is still progress, even when it looks different than everyone expected.
And sometimes the bravest thing a parent can do is ignore the pressure and move at the pace their child needs.
Recommendations:
The best type of professional to assist you through helping your baby with feeding challenges will be a feeding therapist. This could be a pediatric occupational therapist or an SLP. The best is finding a team of both 🩷
The Patient Mama 